Christmas Pictures

I know it's really late to be putting up Christmas pictures. I meant to do it much earlier, but have been so busy with school and trying to get in a routine with all our busy schedules. So anyways, I guess better late than never. Sorry, these are not in order!




So excited!!!
Riding his new tractor!
His only nap the week we were in Tennessee.

My sweet chunky monkey!
Bath time!
My silly little elf!



After a long car ride it's 1:30 am and of course Hayden's ready to go.

Quiet House

Well, my babies are both in daycare today. It's amazing how when you have 2 little ones that you are home with all day you wish you could have just a few moments of quietness, 5 minutes without a baby crying or a 2 year old repeating stuff over and over again, or wish your 2 year would stop harassing the dog and chasing her around the house making her bark while he's squealing with delight. However, when they're not here I hate the quietness. I'm sitting here waiting for it to be time to go to school so I'm not sitting in our house without my babies and hopefully will be so busy at school I won't have time to think about them. Then, when I leave I will get to go pick them up. I think it went alright. Cayson was slightly easier to drop off because he's so little he doesn't care who has him as long as he's being fed, held, and changed, but Hayden was harder. I've also been at home with Hayden for 2 1/2 years. He's not used to having to share his attention or get up early, or not be able to choose what he eats for breakfast, lunch and snacks. He walked right in wanting to play with the trains, but when we started to leave he got a little teary. I hate this, but I couldn't hold it in. I didn't even hug him before we left because I was afraid I was going to lose it right there in his classroom and then upset him even more. I know it will get easier, and he's only going part time for right now. Plus, I can watch him on the internet as soon as it activates, but it's still hard knowing someone else is caring for your babies because you can't.

Daycare

Well, my kiddos start daycare tomorrow. It's been so stressful trying to find one. We went to one today that I was sure we were going to use, but I hated it from the moment we walked in. If anyone knows me, they know I'm horrible at pretending things or lying or anything like that, so as soon as we got to the car Josh said so I guess they're not going there are they? Then I proceed to get teary eyed because this leaving my babies has been so hard on me. I have to go to class tomorrow and I missed a class last week because of the day care situation and can't tomorrow so us finding something today was crucial. So, my wonderful husband who really needed to go to work took me by another daycare that I've looked at, but is kind of expensive. Well, they didn't have anything available for part time which is what we are looking for right now, and the full time is so expensive. So we start going home and I'm so frustrated at this point. I don't know what we are going to do and we pass another day care on our way home, which we've passed numerous times before and I don't know how we missed it. So, Josh stops and goes in, talks to a lady for a couple of minutes and then comes back out and tells me to come look at it. We go in and I love it. I mean if I'm going to have to leave my kids somewhere this is where I want to leave them plus it's really close to our house. They have a code box on the outside and you get a special code you have to enter before you come in and then there's a computer to sign them in and once you do that opens the other door where the class rooms are at. So I feel really secure about leaving them there plus they have this thing called watch me grow where you can go online and see what your children are doing at all times. The only thing was they don't have space available for Cayson right now and probably won't until March 1st. After much consideration and lots of tears (I don't know why I'm so emotional about this) we have decided to go ahead and put Hayden in, and we are putting Cayson in the other one and we will switch him over when the one Hayden is at has space for him. This one Cayson will go to has the same safety features and it's a good day care as well, but it's really expensive (especially when we're paying for it so I can go to school...not because I'm working and bringing in an additional income) and they don't have anything for part time available so Cayson is enrolled full time which I doubt he will go and Hayden will go to the other one 3 days a week. Hopefully something will open up for Cayson really soon. However, I'm a little emotional about them not going to the same day care. I know it really doesn't matter because they won't be in the same room or anything, but it just makes me sad. Not to mention it's slightly inconvenient for us to have to drop off and pick up at 2 daycares, but they aren't that far apart and they are both on our way home. The inconvenient part will be that I have to pick Cayson up and get him situated in his car seat only to drive 3 minutes down the road and have to get him out of his care seat and go get Hayden and then get them both back in their car seats, but hopefully this will be a short term arrangement.

I'm dreading tomorrow though. Even though I feel comfortable in our daycare choices I'm really sad about not being able to be with my babies. I know it will be good for them though, and once I can finish school next year it will be good for me and our family. I know I will be an emotional wreck though and will probably be stalking them on the internet feature they have watching them to make sure everything is ok.

Recent Pictures Coming!

In between taking care of the kids by myself (Josh is working a second job right now and isn't getting home until 9:00 pm), going to school, studying, trying to get child care while I'm at school situated I have been working on editing some pictures. I hope to get them up sometime today or tomorrow.

I haven't abandoned my blog!

I know it seems like it since my last post was in mid December. I have lots of pictures to post and I've had plenty of stuff to blog about, however I've just been so busy I haven't had a chance. I started back to school full time January 5th so I've been trying to get back into the routine and it makes it slightly more interesting when you have 2 children you are trying to arrange child care for. Josh and I have been on the daycare hunt for about 2 weeks now and are still looking. I'm just having a really hard time thinking about someone else watching my children. I've been at home with Hayden since he was born and for me to have to hand him and Cayson over to someone else's care every day makes me really nervous, but I think it will be good for them, especially Hayden. I think Hayden will really enjoy playing with boys and girls his age and the structured environment will be good for him. I just want to make sure when I leave them every day that I feel 100% comfortable leaving them.

Anyways, I'm really going to work on updating my blog more often. Hopefully, once we get everyone settled into a routine I will be able to keep this blog updated.